giving up on good: the one where I ask my husband

Is it Thursday already?

Despite the fact that I have accomplished so little this week, yes, it is already Thursday, and that means it’s time for Giving Up On Good. Have you joined in this encouraging link up yet? It’s pretty fantastic–women learning and sharing how they discern the good from the great and foster what really brings life. Some things, some good things, we just have to let go of, at least for a season.

A couple of weeks ago, I shared about being more intentional with this practice, so I took a big step in that direction this past week. I asked my husband what he thought. I gave it to him like this: I stay at home most days with our baby, and I have a finite amount of energy and time. I can focus on keeping the house up better (which is unbelievably difficult for me) or I can focus on having dinner ready most nights. Both good, good things that I would love to accomplish. But based on how my days go, I know that at this specific point in my life, I am not doing both well, so I asked my husband which would add more life to his days.

I was surprised when he said, “I don’t care if you cook dinner. I couldn’t expect you to do that when I get home at a different time everyday.”

I was surprised not because of my husband’s kindness (he’s always kind) but because I had made a huge assumption. I had assumed that a “real” dinner (i.e., not another tuna sandwich) was important to him for a number of reasons, all of which turned out to be not-so-important after all.

So I’m giving up on the idea that I should get a protein and two vegetables on the table every night. And I’m relinquishing the guilt when we eat another tuna sandwich in the living room while getting the baby ready for bed. I do hope when that little girl is old enough we can form a more routine family dinner practice, but right now it’s an unnecessary good for us.

I’m curious–how have you included your family in your giving up on good choices? Is there something you’re doing because you assume it’s important to someone else?

giving up on good: being intentional

Edit: Apparently there was no link up this week, but I had already scheduled this, so…here ya go.

I’m linking up with Hayley and Jessi on Thursdays for Giving Up On Good! Check their blogs for a complete list of ladies giving up on good stuff to create more space in their lives for the great stuff.

God has an ironic sense of humor; I’m completely convinced of that. For example, He has placed me in one of the domains in life in which I am under-skilled and overwhelmed–the domestic realm of home and family. As an academic and professional, I was pretty confident in my skills (or at least my ability to acquire them), and I utilized them carefully and thoroughly. But this domestic stuff…man, do I struggle.

It’s exponentially more difficult for me to keep a clean kitchen than it was for me to conduct the research for and write my thesis, but clean the kitchen is amongst the tasks that I am called to do in my current station in life. I’m so thankful that God has placed me at home, where I can be available to my family and invest my time into the daily details of our lives. It’s a privilege. But–it’s a an unnatural and messy learning process for me. So throughout this Giving Up On Good series, I’ve had a pretty easy time identifying areas that I allow myself to slack in because there is an embarrassing amount of them!

What I’m learning from this process is that I need to be prayerful and intentional. I need to pay attention to my time. Not so I can strive for perfection, but so I can know that the good I am giving up is truly allowing greater good to flourish in my home and my life. Because honestly, y’all, my days feel a little haphazard right now. So I’m spending this week thinking about my goals for our family, what needs to happen to make those goals workable, and what can fall by the wayside. I’m taking notes and test driving a few things. I’m hoping that the good I give up will be by choice rather than neglect.

Hope you’re having a lovely week filled with all sorts of goodness!