Freaking Out

So, there’s this thing happening in my life right now.

It’s kind of a big deal.

My life will never, ever be the same. I know this because two hundred seventy-one people have told me so.

I am becoming a mother. 

In less than two months, my husband and I will bring a precious, tiny (or not-so-tiny, if the size of babies in our families are any indication) baby girl home from a hospital and attempt to wrap our minds around the fact that she is OURS. Well, she’s on loan from God or something like that, but we are responsible for her. We are her parents. Parents. 

I’m scared.

We have been married for over four years. This was all planned–like, fertility calendar planned. We’re adults. We’ve taken a six-hour childbirth preparation class. My husband knows baby CPR. But I’m kind of starting to freak out.

I am becoming a mother. 

Already I know this will be the learning experience of my life. God is about to show me a thing or two. I am about to get some heart rearranging–big time. If I am going to survive this and do anything right by this child, it will only be by His grace through faith that He instills in me. I can trust Him for all this, I know. But still…kind of freaking out.

I am becoming a mother!